I want to be normal

I dont know whats wrong with me. All my life ive felt like ive been too pushy, too extroverted, but also too quiet, too annoying but i feel like a nobody. I even moved schools and i still feel the same way. I ALWAYS embarrass myself. I always feel an URGE to just embarrass myself and just not think before doing or saying something. Im too giggly. I feel like no one gets me. I feel like a backup friend. I havent had a best friend since the second grade. I feel like an ugly crier. I feel like im too much but also too little. I just want to disappear

How do I stop being weird?