honest with myself, and
when I really admit it to myself...
I just want to die. Ive had that thought since I was 12.
I make it, cause Im a survivor
I shake it
briefly
but,
I dont want to survive anymore
and I havent found a way to live
and I just dont have much more left
I feel ashamed....a stupid white girl wanting to die, boo hoo. I feel like a disgrace, to God. even if, Im not even that religious
but that doesnt stop the feeling. doesnt stop my brain from screaming
it never stops
it just never stops
I grab my head and silently scream "Im sorry Im sorry"
I just want to die. Ive had that thought since I was 12.
I make it, cause Im a survivor
I shake it
briefly
but,
I dont want to survive anymore
and I havent found a way to live
and I just dont have much more left
I feel ashamed....a stupid white girl wanting to die, boo hoo. I feel like a disgrace, to God. even if, Im not even that religious
but that doesnt stop the feeling. doesnt stop my brain from screaming
it never stops
it just never stops
I grab my head and silently scream "Im sorry Im sorry"