If you're over it, if you moved on, but you consistently have to reference it, have you really moved on?

Incredibly doubtful. I also think it kind of depends upon the WAY in which one references the particular thing as well. If mentioned casually that's one thing or just talked about for the sake of helping others that's entirely possible... But if there's clear bitterness and anger, sadness etc that arises Everytime, odds are it's still a very sore spot