How Often Do…

You think about death? I often think about my own. When I’m lying in bed and can’t sleep I always seem to think about my death. It helps me sleep. Or even when I’m angry or sad, I always fantasize about it. Like when I am on a hotel balcony railing I always imagine what would happen if I sat on the balcony. Sometimes if I am in a dangerous area, I often imagine I am prey being hunted and that I won’t make it out alive. I often think about my death just to see where my head is at. Sometimes I make wagers to see how I will die. I predict I will die by my own hands. Sometimes I hate me being alive just as much as others hate me being alive. I haven’t told my ladyfriend yet or the rest of the folks how I feel.