She said I could kiss her if I want to
I didn't do it because my lips felt chapped & I hadn't brushed my teeth yet 😶 I was worried about not giving my best & especially if it's our last kiss I wouldn't want it to be bad for any reason. But at least now I know that it's okay to try. Wanted, even.
She's been sending me TikTok videos again which makes me happy because it's something I missed. She used to send me videos constantly but I stopped watching so she slowly stopped sending. It's one of those things I regret falling behind on. Because I understand how when you're close to someone, you wanna show them your favorite stuff, videos you find funny or interesting, all that. Maybe me not watching anymore contributed to her feeling like I stopped paying attention to her or her interests. & Maybe I did to some extent but I didn't mean to.
After we split I noticed that's something I miss now. I miss watching the videos she showed me & showing her videos I liked too. There's been quite a few times already that I've wanted to show her something but then I realize I can't because we're not on that page anymore. I feel like her sending me stuff again is a good sign that we can still get along 🙏 it seems like we felt & still feel a lot of the same ways towards each other, we just couldn't properly communicate it. We both felt like we were walking on eggshells & like we couldn't be ourselves anymore. She was so focused on blaming me while I only wanted her to realize that we both felt broken & we needed to help each other instead of us both deflecting who's going to take the blame.
There's just so much stuff I wish I realized sooner. Why do I always gotta learn shit after it's too late?
This isn't me hoping we get back together btw. I just hope we find understanding & we can still care about each other & laugh about things. We started as close friends so losing that friendship too made it all hurt a lot more
She's been sending me TikTok videos again which makes me happy because it's something I missed. She used to send me videos constantly but I stopped watching so she slowly stopped sending. It's one of those things I regret falling behind on. Because I understand how when you're close to someone, you wanna show them your favorite stuff, videos you find funny or interesting, all that. Maybe me not watching anymore contributed to her feeling like I stopped paying attention to her or her interests. & Maybe I did to some extent but I didn't mean to.
After we split I noticed that's something I miss now. I miss watching the videos she showed me & showing her videos I liked too. There's been quite a few times already that I've wanted to show her something but then I realize I can't because we're not on that page anymore. I feel like her sending me stuff again is a good sign that we can still get along 🙏 it seems like we felt & still feel a lot of the same ways towards each other, we just couldn't properly communicate it. We both felt like we were walking on eggshells & like we couldn't be ourselves anymore. She was so focused on blaming me while I only wanted her to realize that we both felt broken & we needed to help each other instead of us both deflecting who's going to take the blame.
There's just so much stuff I wish I realized sooner. Why do I always gotta learn shit after it's too late?
This isn't me hoping we get back together btw. I just hope we find understanding & we can still care about each other & laugh about things. We started as close friends so losing that friendship too made it all hurt a lot more
