My childhood was warm and it was good, and it was solid... and it was [i]home[/i]. There were no worries no tears no feelings of worthlessness no self hatred no loneliness no anger no pain just utter bliss...
When i come across something that reminds me of my past i begin to feel a sharp pain in my chest, it feels as if my chest curls up into a fetal position and is howling in pain. I feel a sense of hopelessness because i [i]can not[/i] go back to my past and i want to go back so desperately.
I still have dreams about my past, all the happy places from my past and all the people who've ive met from my past that had brought me so much joy. Sometimes i wish i would just lose memory of my past beacuse it hurts too much to be reminded of something that i can never go back to.
Sometimes i feel like im dreaming or in a coma and one day ill wake up from all of this and ill still be that little girl lying in bed wearing her all pink hello kitty pajamas hugging her favorite care bear doll. But i know that is not true i know that my childhood...my past it is [i]gone[/i]. Barried away and theres is no going back.
Its Time to move on.
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