I Do Not Like People to See Me Cry

I cry most nights to myself. I dont like people seeing me vulnerable. I dont want them to see me as being weak or take advantage of me. The worst kind of cries are when you're in public and you have to force yourself not to cry and give yourself a pep talk that everything will be okay. It sucks when deep down you know it wont be. Nothing changes.

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MaryJanine · 61-69, F

I feel for you. When I was in high school (early 1970's) a girl I thought was my friend came up to me and said, "I don't want to tell you this, but..." and she went on to tell me the girls were talking about the clothes I wore to school and why didn't I go out and get another couple outfits? My dad was between jobs, my mother didn't work and my parents had to put food on the table and keep the power on. I wasn't old enough to work and I knew there was no extra money. She said she was "deligated" to tell me. I knew I was wearing my stepsister's outfits, but they were seven years out of style.

She chose to deliver this message in the school cafeteria. To my horror, my eyes filled and my throat tightened. I stared straight ahead , almost choking in my effort to not cry. I've been there - done that.