I Dont Know Who I Am Anymore

I feel like I'm going crazy. He says I don't like seeing him happy and tells me what the hell is wrong with me. I walk on eggshells and feel scared when he's angry. Wasn't I supposed to be strong and not take any shit or abuse but I m still here. Am I toxic ? is he? Are we both? Am I just stupid and weak?

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Bella · 46-50, F

I'm married living in another state not my own away from family and it's difficult. Is it messed up that if I was in my hometown I might have separated by now. He's mentioned separation/ divorce but we never go thru with it and just stick with it.