Why? I can't do this anymore

Hello! My whole love life whenever i have a crush turns out my friend like them to when i say i like soemone thay always say they like them to worst part they're always my close friends i put aside my feelings for my crush and let them my friend have them i have enough i don't want to like love anyone romantically theres always something stopping me from loving people's i want to love them but i can't bc they like them. I just don't wanna lose them i don't wanna lose my friends so i just put aside my feeling make my feelings for the person they like and the person i used to like disappear and turns out and if they think im selfish think that but remember i gave up on them for you. don't make me regret everything i just want to stop loving people that my friend like im so tired of my crushes i sometimes just want to give up sometime i cant carry on another day so turns out my old crushes liked me back every time i honestly so tired of love life sometimes i just want to give up loving everyone