I Dont Know Who I Am Anymore

Sometimes I wonder just who I am. I live with this facade of being a happy outgoing person but on the inside I'm dying of unhappiness.  I don't know what I want out of life anymore.

I've been hurt so much by a so called love one that I'm actually numb. There's no way I could actually hurt from anything that he might do. Am I so calloused that if someone tried to love me I wouldn't see it?

I often wonder would I find TRUE love. I know it exists because my parents were deeply in love until they died and my sister and her husband after 40 years of marriage they're still in love.

But here am I longing for this love. Maybe it's just not meant for everyone to have.

So I guess I'll just float through this thing called life, find my cabin by the creek and read my books while sitting in my swing wrapped in my favorite blanket and live happily every after...........