I Dont Know Who I Am Anymore

Sometimes I wonder just who I am. I live with this facade of being a happy outgoing person but on the inside I'm dying of unhappiness. I don't know what I want out of life anymore.

I've been hurt so much by a so called love one that I'm actually numb. There's no way I could actually hurt from anything that he might do. Am I so calloused that if someone tried to love me I wouldn't see it?

I often wonder would I find TRUE love. I know it exists because my parents were deeply in love until they died and my sister and her husband after 40 years of marriage they're still in love.

But here am I longing for this love. Maybe it's just not meant for everyone to have.

So I guess I'll just float through this thing called life, find my cabin by the creek and read my books while sitting in my swing wrapped in my favorite blanket and live happily every after...........

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Heartlander · 80-89, M

So we seek and find our destiny? Or, does it find us? It's like being hungry yet nothing on the menu looks good. Maybe ask the waiter/waitress for suggestions? Or try a different restaurant? :)

PEACH4LIFE · 46-50, F

I've been asking my waiter for different suggestions nothing has been appealing so eventually when I get enough of trying to make something good come out of this restaurant I will build my nerves up to try a different restaurant but it's hard to let go of what you think is your favorite restaurant.

Heartlander · 80-89, M

:) How about just asking the waiter to surprise you and see what happens?

I had to reflect on your original message. For me, randomness seems to have made better choices at times than I can take credit for. Nothing wrong with having lots of choices, but it's that thing about life being what happens while waiting for your ship to come in.

I really haven't thought about it until now, but my happiest friends and cousins all tended to eat the same things, day after day. Hmmm???

PEACH4LIFE · 46-50, F

@Heartlander: Hmmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔 food to ponder.