I Have a Dark Side

When it comes to love, I am manipulative and controlling. Its a part of me that's disgusting. I barely recognize myself when I become this monster. I am able to mold myself to their image of perfection, their wildest fantasy, their lover. I am not the men who have hurt you, they say. I know they arent, but theres a rage inside me that is constantly burning, inextinguishable. For you to love me, you must sacrifice your Mind, body and soul. The ones who see something worth loving, plunge to the depths of hell for me, but instead I flee. The moment attachment blooms and tries to cling onto me, I sever it with a jagged piece of glass. They want to love me? They always leave! All the insecurities I've buried as a child unearths.
You are unlovable. You are not deserving. No one cares.
They evoke a wrathful spirit, the younger me, the child me-the one with tears in his eyes, screaming, begging for his parents love-any kind of love. This wrathful spirit consumes all that is good, all the light and love and thrives in chaos- it thrives in destruction. He is familiar, so I let him stay, and let him hurt the ones I love and who love me.