I Have A Dark Side And A Darker Side

Do you ever feel like you are screaming for help and noone cares to come to your aide. Like, you just want to leave forever but you are looking for someone to change your mind. To say, "No, I care!" And not just say it but mean it? And show it? And prove it everyday? For someone you know you can count on when things get rough? That go out of their way to check up on you, get you out of your slump and try to make you smile?

Yeah, me neither...

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winchesterbros

its better to do it yourself than to trust others. you are the only one that can make yourself happy. people can try to make you happy but its not guaranteed to work because the only that can really do it is yourself. the harmful part is when you put majority of your happiness in others and poof they are gone or stop caring, then what?

DarkSideoftheMoon · 31-35, F

@winchesterbros true

SW-User

Yes, almost daily. And I do find places and people to make me smile. But sometimes they don't come from the places I anticipate, like family, and instead when I just join a community in something.

TheReaverCleaver · M

Is all this the trigger taking you to the dark side? What is there, when you get there?

DarkSideoftheMoon · 31-35, F

@TheReaverCleaver several things take me there. It's hell.

TheReaverCleaver · M

@DarkSideoftheMoon it usually is a place in hell...
My dark side... is a place in my mind that I carry with me all the time. I enter in unexpected moments. I can chose to enter at will,but never plan to. It most often pulls me in ,in moments of rage,in moments of pain. Usually caused by disrespect and humiliation to me or my family. Like falling into a wel,if I look up I can see the light from where I have fallen. I've Fallen into the worst part of me that only a few know of. This part of me just sits there and waits. It waits for a scream that echos inside of me and grabs me,and shakes me, shakes me vigorously and demands my attention. The attention of the one that waits. To talk about it,,, Never makes a good conversation. Let's just say I have never taken anyone there... who made it back safe. ? Nothing good down there...
NOTHING GOOD