How did living with a narcissistic parent shape your life as an adult? [I Curious]

I am so terrified of being shamed or humiliated. I have gone to great lengths to avoid any situation where I "think" this may happen. When it does, I freeze instead of fight back. Also, I always feel like I am being judged and that the criteria is a secret. I am just supposed to be perfect and cover all the bases and hope it's good enough not to deemed a failure. God, I am messed up.