Upbringings

@AlchemyFox how did that impact your relationships?

@Adwoa I'm not capable of them

@AlchemyFox oh you basically run away from them I’m assuming. Do you prefer it that way because it keeps you protected or you would want to build relationships but don’t know how to?

@Adwoa My instincts were messed up and I got close to the wrong people. I was right to run, mostly anyway. But yes I do keep people away until I feel safe. Most don't have the patience, or see it as rejection. I do want relationships with others, but like you say, I don't know how to.

@Adwoa I’ve been there, the idea of getting close to someone is scary so you want to take the time to vet people and I believe you also haven’t found your people yet which is prob why they don’t have the patience.

Have you tried doing inner childhood work like journaling and tracing back to why you behave the way you do , when it first started and how you felt or either professional help?

@Adwoa Yeah that's been a long journey. My parents passed away during so I've been thrown for some loops. I have done a lot of the inner work on myself, but I think a lot of people think they don't have to because it's not that bad. I see things very differently. Not right or wrong, just different. I feel like I've had two lives. Me before I knew my shadows and me now, which is pretty raw. So I get it why people aren't super into me. I haven't met the right people yet.

Therapy and meds only ever made it worse.

@AlchemyFox oh wow how did therapy make you worse?