I'm Alone and I'm Scared

Everyday i dont feel like doing anything ..but i like listening to music ..yet..i get bored eventually
..no one is here to keep me company..my mother..all she does..is yell at me..and say very nasty things to me..
Idk what to do..i dont feel okay..theres something missing in me..yet i dont care ..i wanna go out and have some fun like youth ppl my age ..yet im here in this psycho house 😞
Time is running ..and im wasting it
Im not okay..idk whats wrong with me..i feel like blown up wheel ..maybe i should go to a doctor or sthg..but i keep delaying it..idk why..im lost..confused and i need guidance..yet everybody is just busy and ignoring me..all they do is making it worse even doctors i went to ..they dont listen to me.. and give me the wrong medication everytime..and it makes my health worse and worse..i hate them..i feel like no one in this world understand me or even listen to me..idk why ..😞