I Am Always Sad and Alone
Alone And Sad... I'm a 21-years-old mathematics student.
I've always been brilliant at school, always reached my cultural goals. I am also very happy of my studies. Many people admire me for my capabity in science, for my mental agility.
But I feel mortally alone.
I never experienced love; no woman ever loved me, nor pretended to love me. I have no friends; my old school friends hate me, because of my alleged intelligence and my charisma (?). My university friends live too far from me. I have no human relationships,
I always had a sight deficit. In June I discovered I had retinitis pigmentosa, a rare genetic disease that slowly kills the cells in retina. My visual field is very central-located. I cannot see anything when the sun goes down. I began keeping from driving, estranging myself from other people even more.
Retinitis pigmentosa has not treatment. Within an unknown time - few years or an entire life - I'll rest completely blind.
When I think about my future life, I felt that everything is gone. My youth burnt in loneliness, my dreams disrupted because my fears.
I'll probably never have a life, a work, the common every-day joys. I will never see stars anymore. And, finally, I will never be really loved.
I've always been brilliant at school, always reached my cultural goals. I am also very happy of my studies. Many people admire me for my capabity in science, for my mental agility.
But I feel mortally alone.
I never experienced love; no woman ever loved me, nor pretended to love me. I have no friends; my old school friends hate me, because of my alleged intelligence and my charisma (?). My university friends live too far from me. I have no human relationships,
I always had a sight deficit. In June I discovered I had retinitis pigmentosa, a rare genetic disease that slowly kills the cells in retina. My visual field is very central-located. I cannot see anything when the sun goes down. I began keeping from driving, estranging myself from other people even more.
Retinitis pigmentosa has not treatment. Within an unknown time - few years or an entire life - I'll rest completely blind.
When I think about my future life, I felt that everything is gone. My youth burnt in loneliness, my dreams disrupted because my fears.
I'll probably never have a life, a work, the common every-day joys. I will never see stars anymore. And, finally, I will never be really loved.
31-35, M