I Am Living Alone and Like It That Way

To Those Who Struggle Between Independence And Company.... [b]Living alone, and loving it. [/b]

I've been reading this book, by Barbara Feldon.. I first got it when I was trying to enlighten my mind and decide whether or not to stay in an relationship which I finally decided to leave, not cause of my desire to break free but because of how unhealthy it was, I didn't read this book then, and I had not read it until recently when I moved out of my apartment and found it among my stuff.. I finally found myself facing my solitude (no roommate, no boyfriend, no more friends), and I’m loving it's peace, I’m embracing my freedom. However when I started to read, I was hooked immediately.. and I want to recommend it to anyone who is confused about their lives and their desire to whether live alone or seek for companion giving up their freedom.

She writes: "Living alone gives us the freedom to nourish the things we love without the constraints of a partner's timetable or his or her conflicting desires." This is not to say that we can't fulfill our hobbies or our dreams with someone else there. I think the problem is that we become distracted with taking care of this other person, like having a constant guest in our home. When you live alone, there seems to be more time to get to know yourself and what you love.

I know having a companion (husband/wife) doesn’t mean you’ll be slave to someone else desires.. and I agree if you find the right person, you may be able to enjoy your independence or share your dreams with him/her. However, I highly doubt anyone will accept my terms and conditions, and added to that if they do they must also fill a great number of qualities to be in my list of interests and I believe I love myself too much to give up what I want.. so I decided being alone is much better to me than having someone, because this need to be on my own will always be there, and it will make my part to share my life with my companion feel more like an obligation than a decision. And I know if I try to silence this inner cry to break free I will eventually disappoint and have the person who once loved hate me, as always.

This is not a "don't get involved with others in a romantic way." It's quite the contrary. Some people are deeply fulfilled by another person sharing their life, and others have too much they want to fulfill on their own. She writes. "...a love life is not a need like food and air, it's a desire. If we don't eat or breathe, we die; we don't die from unsatisfied passion. Having to set aside romance from time to time is only tormenting if we choose to view it that way."