Free Your Inner Voice

I won't be silenced, like I was as a child. You shouldn't either.

It's never too late to confront the past, to give voice to our inner child, and seek healing and justice.

Acknowledging and validating emotions is a powerful way to create a safe and supportive environment for healing and growth. It promises empowerment, validation, and liberation.

So often, we're told to "get over it" or "move on" without being given the chance to express or process our emotions. But I believe that feelings need to be acknowledged and validated, before they can be healed. ALL deserve a voice! When we're not validated nor heard, this creates anger and can even create sociopathic/narcissistic tendencies. That's why it's important that we're heard and validated.

Anger should never be internalized nor directed at ourselves. Internalizing anger can lead to self-blame, self-doubt, and self-loathing, which can be incredibly harmful. Similarly, directing anger at ourselves can perpetuate self-destructive patterns and prevent us from addressing the root causes of our anger. Sadly, even suicide, but wait! Let's not stop there!

Instead, anger should be acknowledged, expressed, and directed at the source of the injustice or harm. This allows us to confront and address the issue, rather than turning it inward and damaging ourselves.

This is a powerful reminder to prioritize self-care, self-compassion, and self-advocacy when dealing with anger.

We can now, as adults, take up for that hurting child inside and take back our voice and power at the same time! But do it in a constructive way that won't hurt yourself or others. Your voice can be heard...even in a whisper...remember that! It's the letting out of the words, that brings the healing. We don't have to yell in order for people to hear us. In fact, you will find that simply sitting down calmly and allowing the person you're addressing, the respect and courtesy of hearing your words without yelling, actually makes them want to hear what you have to say. There's simply no need to yell in order to be heard. You may also write your feelings down, which is very therapeutic.

You may even wish to send your written words to let someone know what it is they're doing, that's making you hurt. However, keep in mind that when expressing your feelings, you don't want to attack the person who has hurt you. Rather, you're goal is to help them understand how they make you feel, when they say or do a certain thing. Therefore, you never want to use the word "you" to begin a sentence. This shall immediately backfire on you for making them feel like you are using it as an accusing weapon against them. That will only serve to immediately turn them off and away! What you want to convey is not what they did to you, but rather, how it made you feel! Otherwise, you will immediately put them on the defensive, and that is not your goal. Here's an example, and trust me, this works beautifully!

Instead of saying, "You ALWAYS accuse me! You NEVER listen to me, but only find fault!!"

Better way: "I really need you to listen to me. When you yell at me, it makes me feel [ you can put in your own adjectives here, like unloved, upset, anxious, hurt] like you don't hear me and you're angry with me. It also makes me wonder if you still love me, and I'm not wanting to argue, but resolve this, to where we can both be happy. I just need you to understand where I'm coming from, because we can't read each other's minds. I love you and I want us to work this out."

See how much better that sounds to your listener's ears, and works? You're both showing each other love and respect in handling it this way, and both go a very long way. We're not yelling and screaming and accusing. We're not pointing fingers or blaming. The hearer will understand that we're only wanting to get along and resolve the situation we're both can be happy. We never want to be selfish. We want to create an environment where both can be heard and situations negotiated where both can have a happy outcome. That might mean compromise on both your parts, but that's what we do when we love someone. Create a negotiation where both may not have gotten their ways, but both will be happy that an agreement was made and that the other person was happy, as well.

We each deserve to have our emotions recognized and respected. Your feelings are real, and they matter. We deserve to be heard without judgment.

If you have felt anything like this, you deserve to be heard. Sometimes we just want to scream, "How dare they try to make us feel less than?!!"

Exactly! How dare they? It's a powerful statement, and it acknowledges the outrage and indignation that comes with being silenced, belittled, or marginalized.

"How dare they" is a declaration of self-worth and a rejection of oppression. It's a statement that says, "I deserve better. I deserve respect. I deserve to be heard."

When we say "how dare they," we're taking back control and asserting our autonomy. We're saying that we won't be silenced, we won't be shamed, and we won't be made to feel less than. We can be proud of that and for loving ourselves enough to stand up for ourselves.

Healing begins with acknowledgment and validation. You're not alone, and your feelings are not insignificant. Keep expressing yourself, and know that you're heard and understood.

Remember, you are enough. Your voice matters. Your feelings are valid. And you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect. Don't let anyone make you feel otherwise, or push you around. Never stand for it. This is what causes pain and regrets. Love and respect yourself enough to keep speaking your truth and asserting your worth. You got this!