I A Little About Me

I really don't like writing depressing posts because I don't want to cause someone else to feel depressed or I don't want someone to think that that's all I am is a depressing person.
I have some issues that I try to deal with and move past. One is coming to terms with a past I regret and accepting that there is nothing more I can do and move forward.
Another is my severe anxiety. When I think that something bad is happening or about to happen I cannot function. I start feeling hot in the face. My chest starts to tighten and heart beats fast. I'll start sweating profusely and my hands or head starts to fidget and my body either completely tenses up or I start to shake. Sometimes I can stop it if I can go be alone or have someone talk calmly to me but other times it will just go full blown meltdown. It gets hard to breathe and I start crying very hard so hard it hurts. Sometimes under extreme pressure I laugh and cry at the same time .It feels helpless and shaming that I can't control it like I want to. I have seen drs but do not want to take anything as I don't like how it makes me feel mentally or physically when I do. It helps to talk especially to people who for the most part can't point or judge on a face to face level...ergo this post lol thanks for listening and if you can relate please tell me and some of the ways you cope ☺