I Care Way Too Much About What People Think About Me

I Ask Not For A Lighter Burden, But For Broader Shoulders... This is one of the many things I am in therapy for! I tend to over-extend myself because I am so afraid of disappointing others, they ask me to do something and I just can’t say no. This usually causes my plate to be too full for me to handle and even as I struggle under the load of my overstuffed plate… I can’t help but pile even more on top, because I just can’t say no when people need me. All my life, I thought I cared too much, about what other people think of me… However, I am beginning to think that there is only one person I can’t please no matter how hard I try. It doesn’t matter how many good deeds I do or how many people I help… it will never be enough to please myself. It isn’t that I need to do all these things to please others, I don’t allow my plate to become so full that I crumble under crushing weight of it because I want other people to like me… The reason I take on more burdens than I can handle is because I need to make myself like me.

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darktwistedfantasy1

I do the same thing & feel the same way, I have no idea how to shake the thought that people are always going to be disappointed in me, or that I am going to lose all my friends. If one person has a problem with me, I feel like my whole world is crashing down and that is the honest truth, it does not matter if I know them well or not, I take it extremely personally and will go out of my way completely to fix any problematic situation, even if it means sacrificing what I truly want for myself. I care about people a lot, but it has become such a problem that it is stopping me from thinking/functioning like my true self. Help please.

Typicalpisces · 41-45, F

These are uncomfortable feelings that you are just going to have to sit with... If you continue this behavior, everyone in your life is going to learn that, in order for them to get what they want from you or to get you to be nice to them, all they need to do is find something wrong with what you are doing.... and so the cyclical cycle begins... because when you are told everything you do is wrong, you can't think, lose confidence and as a result, inevitably screw everything up...

This is one of the hardest things to change... it is going to take a long time to re-train people to treat you in a more healthy way... but it is definitely worth it...
REMEMBER: It is going to get worse before it gets better because these people in your life, whom you have taught to treat you this way, are not going to like the change and are going to push back for a while... just stay strong and eventually your life will be filled with healthy happy relationships :-) Good Luck!