Throughout my life the men who were consistently nice to me were of a certain subculture and I secretly love that subculture because it's comforting
By subculture I mean in the sense that goths, punks, and metalheads, etc are subcultures. The subculture I refer to dresses a specific way, has its own language, music tastes, and values.
Growing up, my dad abused me and my mom. One of my first memories is of his abuse. He hit my mom and me. He ended up abandoning me and mom.
Then, I was around 11. I was being bullied. Nothing new, I thought, I'd been bullied most of my life. This lad, a couple years older, screams at them, scares them off. He scares me. So in the corridor, I have tears streaming down my face and tell him he scared me. His back was turned, and as he looked around he had an almost angry, "you what?" kind of expression.
He then knelt down, and fist bumped me, saying it's okay and everything's alright. Whenever we crossed paths in the hallways after that, he'd yell out to me and fist bump me, which I think now was his way of saying "don't you dare mess with her unless you want to go through me".
He was the toughest kid in school.
The same happened years later, when I was 15/16. It was that same specific type/subculture of lad, protecting me, making me laugh, cheering me up.
It didn't end in school or my teen years.
As an adult, they've helped me. The old friends I knew when I was 15/16 remembered and added me on Facebook years later, asking me how I am now.
A bunch of strangers from this subculture asked if I was lost and got my un lost.
A pair of strangers from this subculture talked me out of a depressive episode.
A group of strangers from this subculture repaired my bike when it broke down.
On TikTok, there's quite a lot of men from this subculture following me. I don't even advertise that I like them, something about me just seems to attract them and a few weeks ago, someone in the comments was giving me trouble. One of those men chimed in and stuck up for me. He must've went through my profile checking my videos, because it wasn't a new video. He also asked me how I'd been when he saw me on one of his lives last night.
Lastly, I've got a man from this subculture who is flirting with me, he's a long lost school friend, was very supportive and encouraging when I felt a bit down week, and we're gonna go on a date mid this month.
Every time I see a man who looks like he belongs to this subculture it's like my brain reacts to them the same way it does an adorable cat. People objectively find them quite intimidating looking, but it's like my brain loves them because they're the antithesis of my dad.
I'm a "tomboy" and I deliberately dress in the style of this subculture. Nobody in my family knows it's a subculture, so it's a little secret, but it feels like the least I can do to show gratitude for something that repeatedly saved me while every other group or "type" was hit or miss or bullied me.
I didn't have to look it up since I knew long ago but loyalty is one of the biggest values of the subculture.
Growing up, my dad abused me and my mom. One of my first memories is of his abuse. He hit my mom and me. He ended up abandoning me and mom.
Then, I was around 11. I was being bullied. Nothing new, I thought, I'd been bullied most of my life. This lad, a couple years older, screams at them, scares them off. He scares me. So in the corridor, I have tears streaming down my face and tell him he scared me. His back was turned, and as he looked around he had an almost angry, "you what?" kind of expression.
He then knelt down, and fist bumped me, saying it's okay and everything's alright. Whenever we crossed paths in the hallways after that, he'd yell out to me and fist bump me, which I think now was his way of saying "don't you dare mess with her unless you want to go through me".
He was the toughest kid in school.
The same happened years later, when I was 15/16. It was that same specific type/subculture of lad, protecting me, making me laugh, cheering me up.
It didn't end in school or my teen years.
As an adult, they've helped me. The old friends I knew when I was 15/16 remembered and added me on Facebook years later, asking me how I am now.
A bunch of strangers from this subculture asked if I was lost and got my un lost.
A pair of strangers from this subculture talked me out of a depressive episode.
A group of strangers from this subculture repaired my bike when it broke down.
On TikTok, there's quite a lot of men from this subculture following me. I don't even advertise that I like them, something about me just seems to attract them and a few weeks ago, someone in the comments was giving me trouble. One of those men chimed in and stuck up for me. He must've went through my profile checking my videos, because it wasn't a new video. He also asked me how I'd been when he saw me on one of his lives last night.
Lastly, I've got a man from this subculture who is flirting with me, he's a long lost school friend, was very supportive and encouraging when I felt a bit down week, and we're gonna go on a date mid this month.
Every time I see a man who looks like he belongs to this subculture it's like my brain reacts to them the same way it does an adorable cat. People objectively find them quite intimidating looking, but it's like my brain loves them because they're the antithesis of my dad.
I'm a "tomboy" and I deliberately dress in the style of this subculture. Nobody in my family knows it's a subculture, so it's a little secret, but it feels like the least I can do to show gratitude for something that repeatedly saved me while every other group or "type" was hit or miss or bullied me.
I didn't have to look it up since I knew long ago but loyalty is one of the biggest values of the subculture.
FNew
