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Self-reflection on self-reflection

There is an ever-present burden of being aware of my own feelings of self-worth and how I tie them to achievement or pride. I used to be a lot worse, and felt worth was earned through even simple things. Worth was less an inherent human thing to myself but a measurement of usefulness, appearance, obedience. But then I become hyper-critical so if I failed to be perfect, hesitated too much over a decision, cried too much over an outcome, my worth slips away in my eyes. So simplistic and harsh and reliant on outside validation.

But I am not my achievements and I am not my failures. I, simply, am, and that is enough. And even on days where it doesn't feel like enough, at least a part of me knows, or is learning, that it is.
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A lot of those feelings you describe were waiting for us when we were born, they weren't consciously developed by us from scratch but reactively developed by how we were treated or mistreated by parents, older brothers and sisters, and the world we were born into.

It's when we start questioning our reactional feelings and conduct that we stop and say "wait a minute, that's not who I am or who I want to be" and we start swapping out our old reactional selves for who we decide for ourselves who we want to be.

Welcome to the club!! :)