The way I am
I'll try to explain to my best ability, having the platform to do so, just what the motivation for my actions is, going back to being a very young adult, impressionable I might add or just too naive.
The problem, if you can call it that way, I certainly wouldn't put it as such, but the circumstances are such of one trying to be a good member of society, trying to fit your hardest in social events such as your studies or forming relationships, what have you. But failing at it each time, year in and year out, one loses faith in oneself and the society as a whole. So they try to turn the tables starting with minor theft such as stealing tvs from a nearby outdoor stand, until that's not enough. A moment comes when one realizes- wait a minute, there's nothing wrong with me here, I try my darnest to be a good member of society and still nobody wants to embrace my presence. So you stop caring and you disobey what we call " the law".
You asked me about women. Well I can tell you it's not that I wasn't interested in them, it's just that I didn't know what to do about them. You see, I didn't feel like I wanted to be in any particular relationship, but looking at my peers, everyone had a relationship. It did make me feel lacking, or being under pressure of having to obey societal norms as such. I was rather devoting my time to extracuricular activities. Up until a point and I emphasize, up until a point where you wake up one day with such strong craving to be with another human being, but you are lacking or you're rather inept to form lasting relationships. So one steals his way through what from the outside looks as a healthy relationship, but it's far from it.
You see, at one point the hatred towards society and what you want but never could have is beyond anything I could describe to you, sitting here.
But the marriage between frustration, jelaousy and many other factors is a powerful thing, it can turn a good man into the most vile, dangerous person.
Now again, there's nothing in my family life which caused this and I want to be clear on that, not one event which woke up these emotions.
I'll conclude with telling you this- there are many more people outside harbouring these very same feelings. But they are still somehow keeping the facade of being a good family man or a woman, not generalizing here. But the point is, I am not an animal and certainly not be made a circus of.
And this is exactly why people are, what you call ' charmed' in my presence. They see themselves in me. And dare they say Ted isn't crazy or a psycopath, oh boy...better look out because at that moment the judgement of your peers is not for the faint of heart. You become ostracized.
The problem, if you can call it that way, I certainly wouldn't put it as such, but the circumstances are such of one trying to be a good member of society, trying to fit your hardest in social events such as your studies or forming relationships, what have you. But failing at it each time, year in and year out, one loses faith in oneself and the society as a whole. So they try to turn the tables starting with minor theft such as stealing tvs from a nearby outdoor stand, until that's not enough. A moment comes when one realizes- wait a minute, there's nothing wrong with me here, I try my darnest to be a good member of society and still nobody wants to embrace my presence. So you stop caring and you disobey what we call " the law".
You asked me about women. Well I can tell you it's not that I wasn't interested in them, it's just that I didn't know what to do about them. You see, I didn't feel like I wanted to be in any particular relationship, but looking at my peers, everyone had a relationship. It did make me feel lacking, or being under pressure of having to obey societal norms as such. I was rather devoting my time to extracuricular activities. Up until a point and I emphasize, up until a point where you wake up one day with such strong craving to be with another human being, but you are lacking or you're rather inept to form lasting relationships. So one steals his way through what from the outside looks as a healthy relationship, but it's far from it.
You see, at one point the hatred towards society and what you want but never could have is beyond anything I could describe to you, sitting here.
But the marriage between frustration, jelaousy and many other factors is a powerful thing, it can turn a good man into the most vile, dangerous person.
Now again, there's nothing in my family life which caused this and I want to be clear on that, not one event which woke up these emotions.
I'll conclude with telling you this- there are many more people outside harbouring these very same feelings. But they are still somehow keeping the facade of being a good family man or a woman, not generalizing here. But the point is, I am not an animal and certainly not be made a circus of.
And this is exactly why people are, what you call ' charmed' in my presence. They see themselves in me. And dare they say Ted isn't crazy or a psycopath, oh boy...better look out because at that moment the judgement of your peers is not for the faint of heart. You become ostracized.
SW-User
