Call of the Void

So, I read a book a few years back in which the main character, ruminating, said, this, more or less: When I am on a bridge or another high place, I am not afraid I‘ll fall. I‘m afraid I‘ll jump.

I realized, on reading this, that this is exactly what I feel. I don‘t want to die, but there is this curiosity…. What if? At times, it’s overwhelming, and I need to step back.

I have mentioned this to a few folks since, and a friend tells me that this is common, it is called „The Call of the Void“. My brothers both said, when I mentioned it, „Of course! Don‘t we all feel that way?“ But apparently not…. Most folks look at me like I am deranged.

So, anyone else feel this? You aren‘t afraid you‘ll fall, but afraid that you‘ll jump?