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WhateverWorks · 36-40
I used to be ashamed of all the traumatic and dysfunctional things I’ve been through, both born into and then later trauma reenactment stuff. Abusive exes who were really good at using that insecurity to make me feel like a damaged, exotic animal only they could love.
Thankfully I’m over that internal narrative. I feel good about the life I created, who I am, and where I’m headed. I feel like the things I have been through have made me very strong, empathetic, analytical and compassionate, which makes me a good fit for my line of work helping other people heal. At the same time, every once in a while the shame still sneaks up on me when I’m socializing with people who haven’t been through all the crazy bullshit I have. There’s a lot about my past I choose to just not talk about with most people because I don’t want to deal with being treated differently over things that are irrelevant to my present or future.
Sometimes that can be lonely, but for the most part it’s OK. Those who are really close to me know a lot. They are great about the occasional PTSD stuff, but they also give me the fresh air of my past not mattering anymore.
Thankfully I’m over that internal narrative. I feel good about the life I created, who I am, and where I’m headed. I feel like the things I have been through have made me very strong, empathetic, analytical and compassionate, which makes me a good fit for my line of work helping other people heal. At the same time, every once in a while the shame still sneaks up on me when I’m socializing with people who haven’t been through all the crazy bullshit I have. There’s a lot about my past I choose to just not talk about with most people because I don’t want to deal with being treated differently over things that are irrelevant to my present or future.
Sometimes that can be lonely, but for the most part it’s OK. Those who are really close to me know a lot. They are great about the occasional PTSD stuff, but they also give me the fresh air of my past not mattering anymore.