Upset
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another small vent.

i feel like i’m at war with myself… but i also realize the only person who will ever be there is, inevitably, myself. i have always dreamed of having someone that will value me the same way i value those whom i love, however life has taught me it’s almost impossible. i’ll always be the person who is there to listen, but never be heard; to offer, and never receive. i just want someone who truly needs me. not because i’m their friend or family, not because they pity me, or sympathize me. i want them to see who i really am without feeling hurt, scared, or pressured. i just want someone who loves me even though i’m not a person who should be loved. even if i can never love them back, i just want to feel needed for once.
You determine how you feel about everything. You could simply change your opinion of Yourself and feel valued, feel that your help was accepted with love. It really is 100% up.to.you.

Having said that I had a CT scan the other day. I was put inside the machine and was suddenly claustrophobic. My brain was working against me. Panic Attack. I know exactly what you are going through. I dwell on the negative. I have a really hard time getting myself out of negative self talk. I wish things were different.

Replace all negative thoughts with a positive though and you can change the way.your brain works.
@Pitchblue Thank you for your advice. I hope everything goes well for you.

 
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