I think of you every single day. Every day for the past five years, you've been on my mind at least once a day. And you have to understand, it's really hard for me to feel this strongly about someone. I haven't before. I don't even know how to describe what I feel for you physically. We can call it love, or we can call it longing - I'd say it's both. It hurts so much to know that we can't be together. We're so perfect for each other, yet the only thing that separates us is a couple thousand miles. Awful, isn't it? The way life works. We have plenty of what we don't want, yet we can't have an ounce of what we deeply long for. Maybe the fact that we can't have it is what makes us crave it so intensely. I don't know, and I don't care. The only thing I do know is that what I feel for you is completely real. I haven't seen you in years now, yet I remember you so vividly. I remember your contagious smile, the way you tilted your head back when you laughed. I remember how perfectly your hair would fall down your slender shoulders. I remember how every time you smiled, I would get goose bumps and the little hairs on my back would stand up. You were so beautiful. You were an angel and no one else existed. I remember the feeling of perfect happiness, of not needing anything else in life when seeing you every night. I'm sure you will not believe a word of this but I don't care. This is for me. I need to get this out of my system.
I guess it's not meant to be. But how can two people who are so good for each other, in every way possible be kept apart by an impenetrable wall of indifference you’ve built around you? Why is this happening? Maybe I'll find someone better one day. Maybe that person will make me happier than you would ever make me. I don't know. That's the scary part, the unknown. I want so badly to just forget you and move on with my life, erase you from my memory completely even. I've cried over you so many times. I know I will see you again though. I wait for that day every day. I can't even imagine what the feeling in my stomach is going to be when I see your face, I really can't. I long for you and I long for the day I get to see you and feel serene and completely happy. I long for you.
