I went ahead a dyed my hair for my Husband. I mean, after all, he bought the dye. 🙄
This meant having to look in the mirror long enough to start hating myself again. I hate seeing what I look like. I avoid mirrors as much as I can. I have had a hard time aging. I don't know why. I guess you could call it the slow death of vanity.😔
However, I found out I was going to be a great-grandmother in December, and I happened to mention to my Husband jokingly that I felt old because of this. What I meant was this is a milestone that made me feel old. 🙄
The next thing I knew, he bought me hair dye. My Husband is one of those fixer people, and he thought well other women feel younger when they dye their hair, so he bought me a box of hair dye in his favorite color. The color my hair always had been until I went salt and pepper.🙄
I got my feelings hurt, and told him I wasn't going to go getting all painted up and prettied up now, at my age. For Pete's sake, but he is coming home for a few hours tomorrow, and I decdied to surprise him. Sounded like a good idea, sort of.🙄
I dyed my hair. My hair looked younger, but that is all. I mean, my face looks older, and I feel like a clown. I was happy just growing old and trying to focus on keeping my health up as much as I could. My days of being worried about hair and makeup, I thought, were long behind me. 😥
I put the before and after pictures up here for a few minutes, but I just couldn't do it. So I deleted them. I'm an old lady. I have been married all my life, and I just want to grow old, work on my health, and shut the door on all the other crapola.😥
I looked at the hair dye picture and all my pictures over the years, and sure as shooting, my hair color was the same. Not much about my face has changed, except that it has a few more lines. When I am thinner, it has more lines. When I gain weight, it has fewer lines. 😔
When I was 14 (when my Husband met me), I looked the same, as far as my face, except I had teeth back then. The shape is the same. My eyes are the same. I don't know. My vision is going so that if I do have to look in the mirror, I see myself as I have always looked. I liked that. I like my illusions.🙂
Tonight thought I had to take a good look, and I am honestly very sad. I mean, it is no fun to have to figure out how to put on eyeliner, mascara, and all that dumb stuff when you need glasses to see anything close up. My Husband will see me tomorrow. He will like my hair. He wanted me to have the same hair I always had. I imagine it helps him to see me as he has all these years. It might make him happy, and if it does, then I will be happy, but right now...😭
I think my Husband will be happy, but I just wish I could grow old in peace. Anyway, I was feeling just about as bad as a smashed toad on the road, so I thought I would go see how the actresses and singers everyone used to say I looked like aged. Ha ha ha...Now I feel better.... They were all beautiful back in the day, so was I. Now we are all old and chubby; some are still thin, but many are chubby like me. The funny thing is that none of them are still married...Hmmmm..🤔 I guess they don't have a Husband who bought them hair dye.😥
Well, I hope my Husband is happy, but I have got news for him. This did not make me feel younger...Maybe it will make him see me as younger, though. I am incredibly moody tonight.🤪
UPDATE-Well, now he called and said he may not be home tomorrow. Well, now, ain't that just something?🤪
What I feel ike I look like now..😱
When I just want to be left alone to look something like this..🙂
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