the standard would be to reassure you you're perfect as you are, but I'm afraid that's be.
Why, I'm so used to just bitching, I started to comment b4 I read to the end. You'll definitely make it. It's a slog, and I did my fair share of watching the world go by. Systematic growth is the only answer I came to. Life is suffering, and the two options available to us are to accept or deny. You have the right view, see the issues you are facing, and have made the resolve to face them.
You'll become great or at least sufficient if you come up with an action plan to go for it. You seem quite analytical I'm your approach, which is better than most, already. I would only suggest you make sure to turn that into actions, as analytics are only valuable with action.
Just don't do what I did and delay the action. Baby steps. As long as you're better today than you were yesterday, that's enough to vastly change your destination over time. Small changes last. Big changes dont.
Also important to focus not on how far you have come--breeds complacency. But on what will happen if you *don't* change.
The strongest change is also running both towards a desired outcome and away from an undesired outcome.
Good luck
Ah. PS. Memories older than 6 months shouldn't pop up. If they do, it's recommended you go into the memory and face it. Imagine what you could have done differently, or adjust your worldview to incorporate ithe injustice. Older than 6 months and bothering you = your brain saying "the fuck do we do if this happens again? Gimme a game plan."
