I Lack Self Confidence
I have an amazing 10/10 all-around friend in college. She’s beautiful, smart, funny, knows how to have fun, you name it. A lot of the guys flirt with her. When my male classmates in my program see me, they don’t even attempt at “going” at me. I’m just that one girl who studies a lot, looked like a guy, was still going through puberty, and plays video games. I’m the youngest in my class. My program consists of a good variety of ages. I didn’t care about my look at first because i’m just there to get my degree, but it was until i went to a party with my friend. I noticed that a lot of guys wanted her number, but when they saw me, they were just like “oh okay.” I was pretty much the wall flower and my friend was the party girl (i don’t party a lot, but sometimes i feel like i should to get that “college life.”) Like that just messed up my confidence so much. I didn’t feel satisfied with myself anymore. I felt so ugly and nerdy because these guys just don’t notice me. I’ve only had one “relationship” with my best guy friend in high school, but we never made it official. Actually it was more like a friends with benefits. I kept my virginity, but used other ways to satisfy him. Honestly, i think it was an easier route for him to use me because well, i was vulnerable at the time. We stopped being friends after we left high school.
Anyway, It was until i started fixing up myself more. Grew my hair out, put make-up on, got my braces off, and started wearing contacts. After that, my male classmates started talking to me more, and even to the point of them making flirtatious commentary and became quite touchy all of a sudden. Starting out the program, these two guys were trying to pair me up with another nerd, but was good-looking, however this dude said he was not interested in me because i wasn’t his type. Now, with how different i look, he wants me to go on dates with him and he flirts with me. Like honestly, i really do feel offended. My male classmates didn’t like how i look prior to my “glow-up.” I feel like they’re after looks more than getting to know someone. Even if i “changed” my outer appearance, i still feel ugly about myself. I’ve always been overlooked by a lot of guys and now that i’ve fixed myself, the guys who didn’t even like me, noticed me now.
Anyway, It was until i started fixing up myself more. Grew my hair out, put make-up on, got my braces off, and started wearing contacts. After that, my male classmates started talking to me more, and even to the point of them making flirtatious commentary and became quite touchy all of a sudden. Starting out the program, these two guys were trying to pair me up with another nerd, but was good-looking, however this dude said he was not interested in me because i wasn’t his type. Now, with how different i look, he wants me to go on dates with him and he flirts with me. Like honestly, i really do feel offended. My male classmates didn’t like how i look prior to my “glow-up.” I feel like they’re after looks more than getting to know someone. Even if i “changed” my outer appearance, i still feel ugly about myself. I’ve always been overlooked by a lot of guys and now that i’ve fixed myself, the guys who didn’t even like me, noticed me now.
