I Am Learning to Love Myself
Bitter
That in my green
Descends my self esteem
Were you worth the words
Did you deserve these broken thoughts
How in denial you accepted reality
In persistence you held what truths carry
A miserable and agonising dream
Drawn only by the need to feel
The heart and it's shape
Destroys what room it saves
Only your body held wondering
Was this how you lost our mind?
Knowing nothing about me
The man who spoke obliviously
Said perfectly in the perfect terms
The man who had an amazing air
He held your face with his brilliant stare
This was the man wishing you were his
Captured every treasure but the one he missed
A man as broken as me
Had a little less than my seed
But with a kiss
He stole everything
Was I not the hold to keep you sane?
Did I not provide you with trust and space?
And every time our hands held
Nothing I saw meant more than this spell
Not the globe's gold, or the highest flight into red delights
None matched this perfected peace frozen in time
I knew you had impossible clouds
Your depression and impossible doubts
That a future could belong here
That you would be flying higher than me
I knew you were destined for amazing beauty
With a mind sharper than my painful heart
You danced and dream through my glacial shard
Every pain piercing bleeding toes
Every shame behind my shattered oaths
Not the flesh nor the dripping hate
Could this mind ever learn to erase
He was dark of skin and depth
Blackened hair and deepened eyes
He begged for your love
He wanted only your happiness
He was tall and charming
His hands soft and affirming
His cheeks the levels of love
His lips learning yours
He drew stars in your shapely size
So you wouldn't sleep alone in the night
He muttered love while you were awake
And whispered love while you slept
He knew nothing but to do more
And wasted an eternity finding home
He was a loyal man
He was once called "me"
As forgiveness filled with bitter scales
Love to you
never once tasted the same.
That in my green
Descends my self esteem
Were you worth the words
Did you deserve these broken thoughts
How in denial you accepted reality
In persistence you held what truths carry
A miserable and agonising dream
Drawn only by the need to feel
The heart and it's shape
Destroys what room it saves
Only your body held wondering
Was this how you lost our mind?
Knowing nothing about me
The man who spoke obliviously
Said perfectly in the perfect terms
The man who had an amazing air
He held your face with his brilliant stare
This was the man wishing you were his
Captured every treasure but the one he missed
A man as broken as me
Had a little less than my seed
But with a kiss
He stole everything
Was I not the hold to keep you sane?
Did I not provide you with trust and space?
And every time our hands held
Nothing I saw meant more than this spell
Not the globe's gold, or the highest flight into red delights
None matched this perfected peace frozen in time
I knew you had impossible clouds
Your depression and impossible doubts
That a future could belong here
That you would be flying higher than me
I knew you were destined for amazing beauty
With a mind sharper than my painful heart
You danced and dream through my glacial shard
Every pain piercing bleeding toes
Every shame behind my shattered oaths
Not the flesh nor the dripping hate
Could this mind ever learn to erase
He was dark of skin and depth
Blackened hair and deepened eyes
He begged for your love
He wanted only your happiness
He was tall and charming
His hands soft and affirming
His cheeks the levels of love
His lips learning yours
He drew stars in your shapely size
So you wouldn't sleep alone in the night
He muttered love while you were awake
And whispered love while you slept
He knew nothing but to do more
And wasted an eternity finding home
He was a loyal man
He was once called "me"
As forgiveness filled with bitter scales
Love to you
never once tasted the same.
M