I Don't Feel Happy

Im so tired of life, my uncle and aunt are taking a break from each other, the feeling of wanting to cut is getting worse im starting to get a twitching feeling in my arms and it sucks. The wanting to die is getting worse. I feel like im not a good girlfriend to my partner, he deserves so much better. My family is having to high of expectations for me, im failing school, but im losing motivation to do anything. My room is getting messier than usual, i dont want to do anything and its hard for me to even take care of personal hygiene. I feel like im a disappointment and i feel like a waste of space. Growing up with an abusive stepfather and him and my mom they tore me down and said some mean stuff, i started self harm when i was twelve and trying to off myself happened a lot, now im 17 ans struggling with my junior year...im tired of trying...i just need some help and someone to talk to...