I thought I could. I thought it would be just like all the other times I have left. I thought I could just withdraw into myself again. I have done this all my life. I thought just talking with my family would be enough, like it has been for so many years, but I found myself drowning in tears. I thought, 'I can't go back,' after saying goodbye. How humiliating that would be.😔
Yet, the tears just kept rolling down my cheeks. How did I grow to care for so many here in just a matter of a few weeks? How can I need interaction outside my family so very very much now? What has changed in me? I just don't know. I hope I will be forgiven for saying goodbye, but coming back.I hope others may understand what I am going through.😔
I do still struggle with being able to set boundaries in certain areas, but I can't keep running away and hiding. I have to learn at some point in life( I am 59 now, after all) how to set boundaries. To learn it is ok if I feel uncomfortable with a certain amount of attention; to say that makes me uncomfortable. 😔I have to learn this or go back into isolation. I really don't want to be that lonely anymore. 😔
I don't know how to do this boundary setting, but my Husband trusts me to do this. I guess if he thinks I can do this, maybe I can. He told me to try because my tears,all day for two days, broke his heart. This is too hard for me to explain further. 😔
I hope the people who were so kind to me before I said goodbye will forgive me, and still want me around. I missed you all very much.😔
