Future ex husband

I am struggling in my marriage, I have been with my husband 20 plus years, but many years ago his family in particular his mother and his sister always caused me grief and sorrow. Well his mother and sister are dead. I don't understand it but I can't help feel the way I feel that he let them so many years treat me so bad now that he doesn't have them, no more gossiping about others. Every time something sad bad or any experiences he goes through that calls him grief, I can't help but feel some joy out of that it's almost like now you know how it feels.