When did you realize you need to change your life?

These past 2-3 years have been crazy. I lost and found myself again. In these 2-3 years I've done things I never thought I would do. Long story short, through out my life I have lived a very sheltered life. My parents are very protective and religious. Since I was a child they've controlled how I live my life. It has taken me a long time to break free. I've spent the last few years spending over 18 thousand on women and liquor. I hate myself and regret everything. It was not worth it at all. With all that money I could of done so much. Got my license, got a car, got my own place and got so many things that would of benefited me.

I have realized that I messed up big time. This is not me, I am better than this. At 33 I should have accomplished so much. All my friends are getting married, buying cars, houses and just look so happy living their best life. Then there's me, on the outside looking in people think I have the perfect life and making so much money. Mainly because throughout my life I spent my time helping everyone around me. Financially, emotionally, etc... and I just forgot about myself. Most of those people I have helped screwed me over big time and it has hurt me. I feel I need to take time and focus on myself, heal, and move on.

The hardest part for me is forgetting about the the past and moving on. Its a hard thing to do. Thinking about all the time and money I wasted and all the time it will take to gain what I lost back is rough. It hit me hard when I think about the kids that I teach at the center. I think to myself what type of example am I sending to them. They remind me of how pure I was, and how I really need to change my life. I don't have a lot of money, maybe 10 thousand to my name. These can't do much with that. My goal is too move to a more affordable state and start all over again.

Feel free to message me for more info or questions.