I Can Handle The Truth

Straight up, don’t sugarcoat it. Haha never thought I would get cheated on but it happened. I’m not saying I’m gorgeous...far from that but I have a lot of worthy qualities. If you didn’t love me, why keep the relationship going...eh time to move on.

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lostinspice · 51-55, F

Sometimes they do love you, but not enough to respect your need for exclusivity. They want *both*. Familiar and strange, safe and illicit, sub & dom even sometimes. I'd do the same as you, though. Honesty matters to me. I might accept the need for both but not if it's behind my back.

SmileSunshine · 31-35, F

So basically they want the best of both worlds? @lostinspice

lostinspice · 51-55, F

Well not all of them but some. Sometimes cheating is because the communication in the first relationship is poor. Usually coz the man is emotionally stunted! But some of them think getting another woman to meet needs they haven't told their partner about will *help" their relationship. Weird or what?!

SmileSunshine · 31-35, F

Ah gotcha. That makes sense. I never asked him. Once I saw the conversations and pictures with another woman I was like alrighty then, it’s over. Haha @lostinspice

lostinspice · 51-55, F

@SmileSunshine there's a lot of relationship coaches on the net telling you you can heal your relationship. They make money from it. Bloggers mostly end up quitting and calling a day on the relationship, often after following the guru's advice to no good ends.
Many people end up with a "divorce avoidance plan" where they sweep it under the carpet and it (likely) happens again coz the reasons it happened to start off with have not been addressed.
If a partner is genuinely remourseful and the partners can learn to communicate better over time it can become a better relationship. But if that willingness to deal with difficult conversations, go through the pain, shame, and other negative emotions is not there, then you might as well cut your losses. Coz even after all that it's not guaranteed you'll get anything better than you had before the trust was broken.

SmileSunshine · 31-35, F

Yup! That’s exactly what happened...he was talking to other women...I brought it up, he denied it. I gave him another chance and the second time around he actually met up with the girl and made an excuse. Nahhhh man, I don’t got time for that. Haha but you’re totally right. I really like your analogy regarding the outlook of a relationship. @lostinspice

lostinspice · 51-55, F

Ive researched the subject thoroughly :)