I Will Be Myself And Not What Others Want Me To Be

Everybody is different from everyone else. I am too, and my brothers don't understand me.

I love my siblings. But my one brother constantly gets on my nerves. He first couldn't understand why I didn't get married(I couldn't find anyone who wanted to,or even interested in). Now, if I raise my voice on the phone, he interrupts me and tells we to "Not give me any lip" and to "lower your voice or I'll hang up on you." Just the other night, he was talking about my having to move out because the landlord wasn't renewing my lease (and I don't know why, so don't ask). I don't know how we got into the subject, but he suddenly said, "...and you don't GO anywhere!"

I was stunned. I have plenty to do at home and more besides. Why should HE care, more or less, what I do or don't do all day and half the night? He is younger than I (by ten months) and thinks he knows it all on every subject. I told my youngest brother about the conversation later, when I could talk about it, and all he could say was, in a disapproving voice, "He shouldn't have said that." I know it, but I get the same thing from my one friend who is constantly after me to "go out to dinner" or "lunch".

If I am by myself, I can manage just fine, thanks. If I need your help, I will ask you for it. If you can't help out, I will figure it out for myself.

He wants to put me in a housing facility in Franklin Park. The pluses are a good option (fully equipped kitchen, sizeable bedroom and living room, ample closet space) but at the same time, you have to go on a waiting list and they may not take me before people who need protection or disabled personnel or my remaining time on the lease will/would run out.

I will be who I want to be - as long as I have somewhere to eat and sleep.

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Elisbch · M

You sound like you value your freedom. I'm in your age group. Hold onto it as long as possible. Otherwise others will be telling you what you can and cannot do. It's hell after that. If you're good on your own, don't let family or anyone persuade you otherwise. My freedom will only be pried from my cold dead fingers.

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

@Elisbch I DO value it. But he gets so damn bossy at times. I have to move shortly because they are remodeling and renovating this place and raising the rent. So, another apartment. He is helping (or thinks he is) and just this afternoon, he's telling me I have to "change your eating habits" (I eat frozen food at times, yes)and "buy less". It isn't his money and I have a microwave
(and one in the apartment). So what does HE care?

Elisbch · M

@MaryJanine depending on the family, sometimes they can be that way. I think they think because they're family they have the right. I had to pull away from my family and although keep in touch and visit and talk with them nearly daily, I had to become very guarded in what I let them know about my lifestyle. I had to learn not to say so much even about little things. They too wanted to try and control. They are all passed on now but I remember it like yesterday. I can't pretend to know your situation, but stay in control about finding another place to live. There's no need for you to go into a living place you don't need if you can care for yourself. You're not old, you're smart from year's experience. I took care of my mother for 6 years in her own home so she could keep as much independence as possible. Independence is important for self esteem and self worth from what I've learned. Stay strong and make your own decisions. He can be bossy but you're your own boss.
Who cares what you eat? No one else is having to do it for you.

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

@Elisbch These places have long waiting lists. Some are as long as eight or nine years - and, first come, first served. and they can/t tell you what position you are on the list. What he's so "hopped up" about it is they only charge you about 35% of whatever you make each month and HACC pays the rest. If I have to go into one if those "caré" places, I want to die. I have checked with other apartment listings, and they want you to have double of what I get from Social Security Disability every month. No exceptions made.

RadiantRuby

He doesn't have the right to tell you what to do! Stay strong!

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

@RadiantRuby Thank you for the support.

RadiantRuby

@MaryJanine 🤗🤗🤗 I support your choice, because it's your life! Marriage is such a head ache often Herat ache too. So you dodged a bullet!

MaryJanine · 61-69, F

@RadiantRuby I would rather be alone than marry the first male who asked me or marry in haste and repent at leisure. I love my niece and nephew (one from each brother), but I can do what I want and whenever I want. I willingly babysat for each, but I could turn them back over to the parents at the end of the day and have my home to myself.

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