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I Am Always Improving Myself

I had a conversation with my friend and I still feel myself like if I received a slap. A slap that opened my eyes to reality.
The thing is that I'm...how to tell it...one of these people who are in her own world of fantasy and dreams. Very sensitive. All affects me as hell. I have an idea of the world...and when the reality is not so beautiful, I got disappointed.
I give thanks for having people around as this friend who from time to time, take me back to the Earth.

I was talking to him about my problems in school with my coworkers. It's not that I argued with anyone there but I was pretty disappointed bc noone wants to dirty his hands to arrange problems in the school. Only covering these problems to avoid a bad press.
He told me. People are like this. They try to do the less as possible and they don't like you to be outlined. If you are, they will go against you. Everyone has a strategy.

Everyone has a strategy, everyone has a strategy...this remark is on my mind all the time.

I thought. What the hell! It's a school. It's supposed we are there to work together and fight for the best for kids!

Don't believe nice words, he added, there are people who goes pretending being stupid because they don't want anyone to request anything. And then, there are people who put you a happy face and then, talk about you behind your back.

I must be stupid. Because I tend to believe what people tell me. I asked him: so, how I know if I can trust someone?. He said...you will only see with time. For their acts. Only smile. Don't ask for help. Do the things on your own and smile.

Now, that I'm more open to people...I don't know if it's my own fault ...but it's pretty disappointing bc if I found hard to be comfortable with someone in the past, now I see it even worse.


I'm very interested in knowing your thoughts and opinions.
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twistermind · 51-55, F
@ CuriousGorge: Yes, this is what I feel worse about, I mean, the thing that I had to change and not being myself. I also tend to trust people. I don't have reasons to believe they are lying, or having a secret agenda.
I don't like to look at the world with that distrust. But, I know I have to be more cautious, because I'm very sensible to disappointings.

@NearMiss: yes, I guess there is a lot of competition, mainly in some companies were competition is encourage over cooperative work. It's sad. But, it's hard to believe in a school. What makes me a hope is that the friend I mentioned began being only a coworker.

Thank you both for your replies!