How do you achieve your happiness? Life is getting bored with less adventure and live in endless cycle.

I don't know where to start. I feel self-loathing a lot these days ans I tried to rebounce but the feeling never stops.

I want to have happiness that I dreamed but I am too afraid to change. I am afraid to have commitment, marriage, kids, etc.


The house is like a hostile. Well, is not that bad its just I need my own space to breath.

I am having unhealthy diet. Tried to balance it but the side effects shows up. The most satisfying lifestyle but slowly kills. I should take it moderately but when stress comes, it becomes uncontrollably. Cheat day supposed to be one day become every day.
The most miserable way to die slowly. Sheiße.


How can I divert this stress not to harm my body? Soon or later I might losing limbs or oragans. Sounds hyperbolic but I who knows. Things can happen.
I am not born with nice genetics.


Today, I am okay. Tomorrow, I am not okay and it goes on and on and on and on. ...