If you start to feel anxiety about talking to or visiting a friend, is it maybe time to reconsider keeping them?
I hate to hurt feelings, but a once good friend has begun to stress me out more than cheer me.
31-35, F
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Zefa
That person never was a good friend if they were stressing you out. They may have been before, but once they started doing that to you they were just an ordinary nuisance. Just tell the straight up why you are calling off ya'lls friendship.
RedHotCrazyPerson · 31-35, F
I'm feeling that way, I just hate to end things that way.
SilenceEvermore
Usually a feel stress whenever talking to a friend..I don't know why. Guess I don't want to bore them to tears or some such.
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SilenceEvermore
What does she do that stresses you out?
RedHotCrazyPerson · 31-35, F
She criticizes advice I give her and even encouragement. She says some insensitive things too unknowingly (I think) in regards to my relationship ending and current status (I'm going through a divorce). She also seems to over analyze things I say and turn them around and take them the wrong way. When I confront her she wants examples and specific reasoning behind my concerns and I can't put it into words most of the time. She is also very dramatic when she's drunk and ends up fighting with her boyfriend or finding some reason to try to argue with me. I recently told her I won't spend time with her if it involves drinking. I don't have these issues with any of my other friends, and we didn't always have these issues. It's all very frustrating. Sorry for the delayed response but thank you for taking time to respond!
SilenceEvermore
Sounds like someone you're better off not knowing.
Cerraa
maybe back off for a while... let him or her get through their current crap... rather than never be their friend again
RedHotCrazyPerson · 31-35, F
I've been trying to lately, and she wants to keep contacting me but there's always some kind of tension with our conversations, and we don't always see eye to eye on things. It has become frustrating and even uncomfortable. That's a good idea, but idk how to do that without being obvious about it and hurting her and her boyfriend's feelings...
Cerraa
basically just be unavailable. Yes they will get upset sooner or later, but that will give you the time and space you need. Maybe become friends later... after you have been so "busy" they will too... then when it is convenient for you, call one day out of the blue- and say hey! i miss you...
Put space between you- later on you might want their friendship again.
I think it is better than getting rid of them
Put space between you- later on you might want their friendship again.
I think it is better than getting rid of them
RedHotCrazyPerson · 31-35, F
That is good advice. I agree I might want their friendship later. I have been making myself unavailable to them quite a bit lately.
Selvmo
Do they complain a lot and/or are negative?
RedHotCrazyPerson · 31-35, F
yes, and there seems to be consistent tension between us. Recently we haven't been seeing eye to eye on things anymore, and she isn't wanting the same things out of life I do.