Would you come to my Birthday party if it involved lots of pies & cakes etc'

I love birthday parties. I would ask the birthday girl if, in addition to her cake if I can make the thickest heavy pies and fill a long table. With girls on both sides I would splat someone across the table and watch her reaction. Then anyone standing next herlaughs I would fly a heavy thick pie in her face that would cover all her features. Then the pies would be flying.Someone please respond.