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What do you say when someone says, "Can I say something without you getting mad?"

I cringe inwardly whenever anyone asks me this, because I know that they're about to say something that they know will be very hurtful to me. They are asking me to give up my right to feel what I need to feel (and can't help feeling) about it.The way I see it, you have the right to say whatever you want to say, but I reserve the right to feel what I need to feel and tell you exactly how I feel about what you say.

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iCuriousBabe

That question sets me up to be angry, especially when I know the person might have the wrong assumption, and I would have to address that.

TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F

It sets me up to be angry too, because it's obvious that they know that it will probably make me angry, but they want to say it anyway.

There have been a couple of times when the thing that someone said to me, after asking me that question, didn't upset me, and that left me wondering why they thought that I would have a problem with what they said. This made me wonder if there was some other offensive hidden meaning in what they said. So asking me that question wasn't helpful at all.

TeresaRudolph71 · 51-55, F

Of course, this was the rare exception. Usually people ask this when they're about to say something that they know will be offensive.