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Why do people NEED validation and approval?

Why do we need approval and validation? And for some reason the friends or family or teachers or whatever that we seek it from, are the WORST!
singerofsongs
Hi,darktippedrose....How are you! I think we need it sometimes,but it just feels good,it makes you feel like you belong,your apart of,or important to the people your with.Yes.....believe me,I know how hurtful it can be,when the ones you hope it would come from the most.....can't seem to give,or simply don't.Sometimes we can take it very personal! Yet..I think...sometimes,its really not about them rejecting you,as much as....they may be hurting,or afraid to reach out to you,because that's where they are in their own life.Yes,and sometimes people,can just be plain mean.....whatever the reason.....even though it hurts us deeply....I think finding a way to rise above....and knowing,you stand apart on your own....you are strong,you can make it...and God loves you! Just be you.....we all have shine in us,be patient....one day,soon ...thoose people will come into your life...who will lift you up,and you'll lift them too.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
I'm doing okay, and thanx for the lengthy reply.

You are probably right. my grandma is in a bad place, and hubby is an a-hole. My confidence and strength fluctuate greatly from day to day. Especially when it seems that my gma sides with hubby a lot of the time, and no one in real life can totally understand my struggles in my marriage. The only one who comes close is an aunt in another state, but even then, she doesn't know everything.
singerofsongs
Ahh.....I am sorry to hear that! Yes,that is hard! I know of another woman in a similar situation......and it can get hurtful...Have you tried talking to your husband.....and just letting him know....the things he may do or say....are hurtful to you! I know its hard....truly,to love the one your with,yet at the same time wish they're behavior may be different towards you......I am sending you a big hug,right now......did you get it! Truly..don't give up......You are loved by God.....and you have value.....on your own,apart from how someone treats you.....I say that to myself too sometimes,when I feel like....I am at the bottom....or feeling mistreated.......you will get through this.....Perhaps there may be help in a local support group......other woman,are going through the same thing....I am here if you need to talk sometimes.....just leave a message....I am not on here a lot....but when I see your meessage,I will always get back!
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
umm, some of the stuff that I don't like that hubby says, that is either mean or sarcastic. If I were to bring it up, he'd complain that I'm too sensitive. Or pull it off as being cultural. He is black, so he says that a lot of it is just "his style" and how he is, and thats how it is where he came from. then other times he says, thats the way of the arabs (he got adopted by a tribe and now thinks hes arab).
looking4bustygirl
They are weakminded pack animals unwilling to break away from the herd and stride out on their own. They will never lead they are the sniffers of hindquarters...
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
haha, I geuss that is one part of it.
Frakedes
because without approval it will be rape and without validation you might get aids.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
yeah, not exactly what I meant
LunarFireFly
Something to do with the survival instinct somehow.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
hmmm, I can see that
Manorkill1
Because nobody likes going out on a limb alone.
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
true
lederman
cause theyre needy
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
ahhh i see
happyisashappydoes
because we are human
darktippedrose · 36-40, F
true

 
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