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Why do evolutionists believe that we are related to all living things on earth?

My family tree doesn't consists of bacteria and mushrooms and irises, raccoons and dogs, grass and oak trees and eagles.
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SteelHands · 61-69, M
I dunno. Maybe cause the ones that want to marry their clock radio and have long meaningful conversations with their bathroom scales appeal most to the big nose big chin sunken lips horsefaced lab assistants and that's why the bug face girl wouldn't marry me.

Lol