I’m nothing but a f*ck*ng nasty dog

No seriously I’m like a g*dd*mn stray, I crave affection and attention like nothing else, but I flinch and I’m scared and I can’t accept any form of physical affection despite craving it. I crave affection so badly it hurts, I just want to be held, to be loved gently, but at the same time I’m terrified, I flinch from any hand that touches me. I get nervous so easily, and I’m mean when I’m nervous, literally like a dog. I am just a nasty stray dog and I’m so tired.