I Had An Affair

I had an affair a year ago. I came clean and told my husband. I left my job, broke contact with my friends (who were also friends with the OM), I handed over control of email accounts, bank accounts, closed all social media, phone never locked - transparent about everything. I never go anywhere without him knowing where I am and if he goes away on business I virtually don't leave the house so he can call the home phone and know that I am there. I am allowed no male friends ever again which I'm currently living with. I've tried everything I can to 'fix' my husband's pain and hate myself for what I've put him through. We're finally coming out on the other side and becoming 'normal' again and for the first time I'm allowing myself to worry about how I feel....and I'm so lost. I do love him but I'm not happy. I think about the other guy and wonder if I made a mistake. Nothing in life makes me happy. I feel like I'm just existing.

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Dangerousliasons

Although you broke the trust you shared by having an affair, it does warrant to explore why you did it to begin with. You are unhappy in your marriage anyway so there must be something deeper than just sex itself and the excitement of someone else.
I can understand that hubby will take a while to trust you again but having no life of your own is not the answer. If you still feel attracted to the other man (or other men) or if hubby is not supportive and loving as he should be or if you don't have sex regularly or if hubby is not satisfying your sexual needs then the marriage is broken.
You need to be frank and honest about your issues to move forward otherwise both of you will be unhappy for a long time....
Too bad he's not the 'sharing' type who can find the positive of a wife that has more needs than he may be able to meet and allow her to satisfy those needs and still have a loving hubby.
Cheers!