I Had An Affair

Yesterday was 20 years since I first laid eyes on the other man I love. He doesn't know it, he's a man.
He knows I love him though even after all this time. A long time ago he felt the same way but he wasn't mature enough to let us last, acted instead of talked, ripped my heart out as he went.
I want to see him, it's been over a year since I last did but I believe I will just get hurt again so I keep away.
Miss him so much though, I just want a hug more than anything.