His insecurity with his body, thinking poorly of himself because he had a gut at 40+ years old, like who cares man, take your pants off...

It made me realize how shallow he was, and left me no choice but to believe he was viewing me the same way. And then when his dick stopped getting hard, there was nothing left of my libido. I was not able to feed his ego and feeding his soul wasn't enough I guess. Spoiling him and touching him when he'd barely touch me. He loved making it all about his dick and his body. I never cared about his extra weight when I met him, it didn't do anything extra for me when he was fit and muscular, I just wanted to share the intensity with him. So after everything, to be pushed away because he didn't like his body, felt like a betrayal to my genuine love. It felt like an insult to my aging body as well.

Nobody can escape the passing of time. There are ways to stay virile. I thought I was contributing with the carnal worship I gave, but his ego was the most important thing to him. I couldn't sacrifice myself enough to placate his insecurity.

He's been out of the picture awhile now, but my sex drive seems to be in need of solitude also. I still have my own fun, but I don't dare seek assistance with my sexual needs. I feel ugly and undesirable to the core.

I wish I left him sooner. I wish I had said no to his weak grasp. I wish I hadn't tried so hard for someone who was never capable of understanding how sexy I was. I wasted the best years of my womanhood on a limp dick whimp.