I think, the way I see myself, that the wisest thing for me would be to step back from all dating and wait for another couple of years..

The reason I think of that is because I observe myself and the guys I get attracted to and is as if nothing have changed. I'm still falling for the same type I've been falling since I was a teenager.

Now, a day ago I thought to just accept it. Because yes, those types have their flaws but also invoke strong emotions in me and that's something I could appreciate. They bring me to life.

But today it feels like I can't. Like the flaws of these types are too much for me.

But I don't want to be any more in any connections that feel medium. Like I'm not going full in, because I'm not fully interested. So much for going for the healthy ...

That's why, within this confusion, the best choice is to abstain. Do other stuff. Let deeper healing occur, or, further clarity to come.